Ready or Not

Am I ready for high school to be over? This question has been posed more than any other lately (not including the ever most common, "What did we need to do for English again?") and has taken more thought to answer save only the very most probing. Am I ready for high school to end? Ready? Ready as in logistically could I survive life after high school? Since I assume the "end" of high school is laced with hidden implications of the beginning of college, a mission or some other generic secondary educational plan, I'll take a step back and answer that. Yes. Yes, I do believe that I can survive the college lifestyle. (my specific plans, in case you were wondering.) I have saved as much money as possible at my grand positions as an intern at a local paper, a pizza maker at Papa John's (as well as cashier, phone answerer, dough slapper, floor cleaner and just about anything else they need me to do) and a tutor for a darling girl in my neighborhood. I have kept my grades high so as to qualify for scholarships and have received several. Or, perhaps they mean ready as in emotionally stable enough? Good enough at driving through college towns? Clean enough? Responsible enough? Mentally ready? Spiritually strong enough? Is ready just another word for enough? Are you ENOUGH for high school to end? I think I'm ready. I'm ready to leave behind bell schedules, orange vests and morning announcements over the intercom. I'm ready to get away from girls who think they know too much and boys who don't care to know anything at all. I'm ready to be a leader by example, not by title. I'm ready to meet a whole new crowd of men and a whole new crowd of women. I'm ready for Krispy Kreme and big classes. I'm ready for a little room and some brand new roommates. I'm ready to stay up all night and cram for exams. I'm ready to have to walk across campus to get to a class and I'm ready to have a different schedule for every day of the week. I'm ready to not be able to procrastinate anymore and I'm ready to have to work my butt off to get an A. I'm ready to learn to be a college student and I'm ready to get out of the house and fall flat on my face. I'm ready to make mistakes and make good choices and make dinner. Yeah, I'm ready. Except, I'm having a hard time being ready for half of my friends to go on missions and half of them to scatter themselves across Utah or the country. I'm not so ready to leave behind my favorite teachers - I know that should be the last of my concerns - or seminary. I'm not ready to leave behind free periods spent excusing students, morningsides or late nights with people just down the street. I'm not ready to leave Kraver dates or Roxberry dates or stupid, sweaty school dances. I'm really not ready to call the new seminary council or teach the new editor how to run the school paper. I'm not ready to graduate and cry allll day. I'm not ready to leave my best friend in high school. I'm not ready to drive back and forth between here and anywhere further away than Tooele. I'm not ready to say goodbye to the hilarious people at Papa John's or tutoring. I'm not ready to say goodbye to at least 200 of my books. I'm not ready for most of my best friends to no longer be so close by. No, I'm not ready. That's ok, though, because my thoughts are mirrored by many, I'm sure, and I know I'll be just fine. It will all work out beautifully even if I am occasionally nostalgic. But for now? I think I'll enjoy every minute of high school I have left.